Go Bluebirds!

Sunday, July 30, 2006

I hate humidity. Enough to find someone that doesn't mind it and hit them. Ohio in the summer suffers under an unmoving haze that resembles nothing so much as a fat man that sits on your chest and refuses to get up:

Ohio: "Could you please, ah, get off my chest, fat man?"
Humidity: "Uggghh."
Ohio: "Yeah, cause this is really annoying. And you're making the Indians lose."
Humidity: "Ughhhh. So.....tired. Must.........sit."
Ohio: "Please. Get. Off. My. Chest. I'm hot. And it's really fucking humid, ya know...."
Humidity: "Uggghhh. Couldn't......hear....what....did.....you....say?"
Ohio: "Uggghhhh.......so...........humid."
Humidity: (Lets off more humidity).
Ohio: "Ugggghhhhh."

People in the Southwest bitch that Midwesterners vacation in their neck off the woods (or desert) and remark "....but it's a DRY heat!" You'll find no sympathy here. We're already exporting our population and jobs to the Sun Belt.....it's time we exported the humidity as well.

Yesterday, I was (for the umpteenth time in as many days) emptying the Stephens de-humidifier, and it occurred to me just how much water I was pouring down the drain......my best guess-timate was about a gallon a day...and this in an AIR-CONDITIONED house.

Pity. All this humidity, and no one to share it with.

In order to rectify this sad state of affairs, I propose the construction of a very large de-humidifier somewhere in the Midwest (preferably Indiana), collecting all the water and dumping it in, oh, Scottsdale or something.

Standing water, mosquitoes, humidity, oh my!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I'm back.

I couldn't stand to look at the old blog withering from neglect, so I trashed it and put it out of its misery. It's gone, like our cat, Edgar....and frankly they deserve each other.

The look is new as you can probably see....very futuristic. Like a robot from the, um, future.

(Just bear with me while I miss around with various templates.)